Life As An Intern
by McWoohoo
Summary: An alternative GA from the beginning. The interns start at Seattle Grace Hospital, learning skills, gaining friendships and relationships, rivalries forming...the complications of life. Follows Meredith. MerDer.
1. The Starting Line

**Hi there! This is my first GA fic, which was started really randomly when I was actually writing something else, so it wasn't planned. This is going to be my version of Grey's. There will be a few similarities, but there will also be a lot of drastic differences. I'm trying to keep it in the same sort of format as the show though, cause I love the effect. Oh I should probably say something about ships. Obviously MerDer will be the main focus couple. Other ships may make appearances. I'll just see what happens. Also, everything I know about medicine is from the internet, so don't shoot me if you have a medical degree and I'm making cases that couldn't possibly happen. Sadly I have no one to fill in my ' _Medical! Medical!!!_' bits for me. :P**

**Anywhoo, enough of me talking, read on and I hope you like it:D **

* * *

_The sun rises. A new day begins__. Fresh starts happen. Empiricist John Locke said that everyone was born with a clean slate…the power to learn from scratch and from__ your own__ experience. _

An ear splitting screech ripped through the air, as Meredith slammed her foot down on the brakes. She had just barely noticed the guy crossing in front of her, reacting with just enough time to not actually run him down.

_It makes life a little more unpredictable._

The guy looked shocked at first, but this soon dissipated to a slight amusement as he looked on at Meredith's overly shocked features.

_How to react? How to survive? _

_Great. _That was just what she really needed; to run down a guy in the parking lot. _Wait. _Not just a guy…a HOT guy, with gorgeous blue eyes. Yes that definitely would have put a dent in her morning, and probably given her a reputation before even beginning her career. _Meh. _She could literally see the doors from where she was, if she'd hit him it would have been fine anyway.

_Even with experience that you gain from life, there are still some tasks; some trials that you will come __a__cross, which will bring you right back to the basics._

Meredith Grey was beginning her internship, in fact she'd just been pulling into the parking lot of the hospital she was starting at; Seattle Grace Hospital, one of the best teaching hospitals on the west coast. Her mother had taken her residency there before her, and even now the chief of surgery was an old family friend. Keeping this all in mind and her mother in particular, this was something she wanted to stay out of the way.

The guy moved, and she carried on her short journey round the lot to find a space, parking, grabbing her bag and then walking briskly towards the looming hospital. It really was a pretty hospital. It had a huge front to it made of glass, and a large window through the opposite end of the hospital too, with a bridge situated right in front of it. She'd been up there as a child once when her father had brought her in to see her mother, and she had a feeling she'd be back up there again soon.

Finally finding her way, with help of a nurse, to the short tour of the surgical floor by the chief she caught up with the small group of other interns, and mingled in at the back. She noticed a sideways glance that she gained of an oriental woman who seemed to obviously disapprove of her lateness. Frowning Meredith chose to ignore this and took in the sights of the inside view of the OR.

15 minutes later and all changed into scrubs, which many fiddled with in agitation, and probably a hint of nervousness at their new roles, the interns were milling around in the locker room, stuffing belongings into the nearest locker they could find.

Meredith leaned against her locker door, holding each end of her stethoscope that was draped around her neck looking at everyone, those who had become her competition. She caught the eye of a man, who smiled at her, and stepped over clothes on the floor towards her.

"Hey! George O'Malley." He greeted her extending his hand, which she took with a slight smile.

"Meredith…Grey." She returned the favor, a little hesitant at first about her surname, but decided it would sound rude without it. In fact the guy didn't even seem to react which widened her smile a little more. Great someone who didn't know her already.

Their exchange was quickly cut short when shouting came from the door.

"O'Malley! Stevens! Grey! Yang!"

With a look at each other they headed to the door, and were joined by the other two people who had been called out. One tall and Blonde, Izzie Stevens was her name, looked a little out of place amongst the rest but still stereotypes never proved anything. The other Meredith recognized from earlier. It was the disapproving look girl. Cristina Yang.

"Dr. Bailey?" She asked the guy with the list.

He pointed down the hall to small, rounded woman, writing notes against a station. They started their march towards her confidently, soon losing confidence as she turned round before they met her, and she gave them all one big look which told them not to say a word. It was like being back in first school. Do as you're told, and you won't be screamed at…except without the school kids...oh and the fact there was scalpels, responsibility, bills, sex…the list could go on.

She took them around the hospital again, describing duties they'd carry out, and rules that she was giving them. She was strict no doubt about that. She then set them off on tasks already.

"Stevens…" She looked her up and down and at the smile that still resided on her face. "You can get to know the wonderful ways of charting." She said with a slight smirk, as Izzie noticeably stopped smiling, and looked crestfallen.

"Yang…"

Cristina stood even straighter if it was possible, looking alert and ready for her task.

"…you're in the pit. The nurses will give you all cases currently in need of help." At this Cristina gathered up her pager and stuffed a handbook in her pocket.

"Grey." Bailey was already looking at her. She stared back confidently, she was a little scared of Bailey…ALREADY, but she was determined to stay calm and cool. "You're with Dr. Sloan, he is…somewhere. GO!" Dr. Bailey turned to look at Cristina, who then flew off down the corridor, speed walking.

Meredith had no idea where she was going, she figured the nearest nurse might be helpful, and as soon as she found one she inquired immediately.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where Dr. Sloan is?"

A look of distaste crossed the face of the nurse and then, "Oh no… honey, trust me, don't go there, you'll be better for it." The nurse patted her on the arm and walked away.

Meredith just stood there aghast for a second, not quite knowing what to think of that, and then realizing she still didn't know where the hell he was grabbed another nurse.

"Okay, I really need to find Dr. Sloan, I'm his intern and I can't find him. If you could help I'd be really grateful." She said holding quite tightly to the nurse's arm, making sure her point was made and that the nurse couldn't escape before giving her an answer.

"Ah! My intern. So we meet." She heard from behind her, spinning almost immediately to come face to face with a tall, blonde haired, grey eyed man, who if he wasn't her boss she'd have gladly let her imagination go wild.

"Dr. Sloan." She said his name, with a slight nod.

"Mark. Mark Sloan." He introduced himself, offering his hand, which she shook, relaying her name back to him.

"Right, onto the case!" He said as he handed her the chart for their patient, and started to walk down the corridor. At this she ran to catch up with his strides then fell into step, opening the chart. "Winifred Banks, 62, in for a facelift."

Meredith's head whipped round so fast she could have given herself whiplash.

"Dr. Grey, we don't judge, we do what's best for the patient…" He said trailing off and back to the case again for a second. "Also a reconstructive rhinoplasty."

Once again she looked at him, furrowing her brow.

"Okay, we do what they ask…most of the time." He admitted. "So, it's simple. We just need a few tests done this morning, which _you _will be running, as my intern." At this he smirked. "And then we'll see. 2214!" He handed her the chart, pointing to the list of tests on it awaiting results, after stating the room number of the patient. "Find me when you get the results." He finished turning on heel and leaving again.

Right so she had a task to do. It was grunt work, but it was something, and she was an intern what did she really expect on her first day. Of course she really did have her fingers crossed that she'd see a surgery, even if it was a facelift, better than nothing.

She headed off to the patient room, walking in confidently smiling at the woman in the bed. The woman smiled back politely and waited for whatever her doctor had to say.

"Hi, Mrs Banks, I'm Dr. Grey, I'm going to take some blood, and run some tests before Dr. Sloan takes you into surgery, if that's alright with you?" She asked the patient, who nodded to her, as she headed over to a drawer to get a needle and some blood vials.

She checked her chest, took blood pressure, questioned the patient on her health the past week, and then took the blood. She told the lady that she'd be back later with Dr. Sloan, and then left for the lab.

The lab. Yes she had to find that, so off she went searching once again. She passed George on the way down a corridor, who grabbed her and dragged her into a closet.

"I'm with Dr. Bailey!" He said eyes wide, holding onto her arms.

"Okay…" She said a little amused.

"She's torturing me." He said giving her a little shake. "I think she actually hates me."

"George, she doesn't hate you."She said, shaking off his hands, and dragging him back out the closet. "Just stick at it…show her you can do this!!" She said giving him a smile.

"I can do this." He said. "I can do this!! He repeated more forcefully this time, trying to grasp the tiniest bit of confidence from it. "…I can…I can't do this!!!"

Meredith half exhaled, half grumbled with frustration, having just turned around to leave. She turned once more to face him. "GEORGE!! Just go and do…whatever it is you're doing." She said to him, beginning to flap her arms around.

"Okay, okay…" He quietly started to chant 'I can do this' under his breath again as he left the closet and started off down the corridor, repeating it over and over.

"Good luck!" She shouted after him, and turning back to her task…now where the hell was the lab?!

After another 15 minutes or so she found it, handing the blood over, and given at least an hour waiting time, so she wandered off to find Sloan again.

She found him again by a vending machine.

"Dr. Sloan, there's a wait on the results…" She started and was cut off by Sloan.

"You know, this day!" He began. "With all the new interns, it's crazy. My friend nearly got ran over in the parking lot this morning! A doctor! Run down by a car." He exclaimed, and headed off again, Meredith following him. She had to cringe a little listening to this, as she guessed she was probably the one he was talking about. I mean, how many doctors nearly got run over by an intern this morning?

He continued. "He said she just stared at him…as much as it would be surgery…." He laughed to himself. "…I don't really want to be fixing the ugly mug of my friend." He was getting carried away with the chit chat. He looked at her, with a laugh then stopped when he saw she didn't find it funny. "What?"

"Nothing." She stopped feeling awkward. "Anything for me to do for now?" She asked trying to steer off the topic and back to the job.

"Hmmmm, well you could get me a coffee…" He hinted by telling her exactly.

"Excuse me?" She asked wondering if her ears or mind had deceived her.

"Excuse me?" Came from behind her at that exact moment also. "Mark, your interns are not your personal slaves." The voice finished before she could turn around to look, by that point the owner of the voice had stepped up beside her and Mark.

Meredith looked across and up, to meet the same blue eyes from earlier, she stopped thinking for a second, then the morning flooding back, looked a little uncomfortable, and he, once again amused.

Mark looked between the two staring at one another, a little confused, raising an eyebrow. "Uh, do you two know each other?"

"No." They both said in unison, still looking at each other.

"This…" He said, a smile gracing his face, as he then turned to look at Mark, who still looked utterly confused. "…is the person who tried to run me down this morning." He said, turning back to her, and cocking his head to the side.

Meredith wanted to die! Right there. Did he really have to do that when she was trying to be apologetic?

"Yeah, about that…I'm sorry, I really wasn't intending on running someone over this morning…" A small short silence, then, "…AT ALL!" She shouted catching herself.

"You were the one who…Aaah." Mark summed up for himself, then smirked some more.

"It's alright." The blue eyed man said, giving her a calming smile.

She couldn't help but smile in return; she was never going to forget this day.

"Oh wait!" She looked him up and down.

"Are you checking me out?" Blue eyes asked, apparently forgetting the current situation.

"Oh!" Mark expressed, eye brows raised!

"What? No, it's just you're an attending." She said, trying to suppress a laugh. _Men_. It was such a strange moment. There she was intern, barely there, just started, and she was having a conversation with two attending socially…which she guessed Bailey would kill her for if she'd passed at that moment.

"Oh." Now it was his turn for embarrassed. "Er, yes, yes I am. Derek Shepherd." He extended his hand to her, which she took, and shook once again confidently. Did she really have to let go? He had nice hands. Snapping back to reality for god knows what time in that same minute, it hit her.

"Head of Neurosurgery Derek Shepherd?!" She shouted eyes wide. _Shit, shit, shit, shit!!_The strange situation had just turned oh so complex in seconds.

"Yes." He replied simply.

"Okaaaay. Are you done with my intern yet? She has things to attend to." Marked ended the distraction; putting a hand to her shoulder and trying to guide her one way, but stopped as Derek went to speak.

"Yes well I have some need for an intern, _Dr. Sloan_." Derek put lots of emphasis on the 'Dr. Sloan' trying to make a point that Mark was a doctor and had a duty to TEACH the interns, not abuse them. "Something that may be a lot more interesting than getting you coffee."

"Well…she..." But Derek cut him off again.

"Settled then." He finalized, turning and ushering Meredith off down the corridor, leaving Mark standing there looking a little shocked that Derek had just stolen his intern.

"That's not something you need to be stuck with on your first day." He said looking across at her as they headed to the nurses' station.

"But what about Bailey?" She said with a slight shudder as she remembered the commanding force from earlier that morning, and then the terror that it had inflicted on George in such a short period of time.

"I'll sort Bailey, it will be fine." He reassured her. "Now…what is your name Dr…?" He stopped then at the nurses' station leaned over for a chart then turned round and leaned back against the counter to look at her.

"Meredith. Meredith Grey." Once again, she was hesitant to say her last name. Derek picked up on this and frowned a little.

"Oh okay. Anyway, Meredith…Dr. Grey, the patient is presenting with headaches, dizziness and syncope. Last time he passed out he hit his head, and came into hospital requiring stitches after that. He's currently up getting an MRI, so we'll go up there and check it out." He rattled off, as she noted down a few things and nodded along as they walked.

"Right."

On the way to the MRI, they passed another station, which Meredith saw had Izzie sitting at, she wasn't filling in charts anymore though; she was currently asleep in one. As they passed by, Meredith gave her a quick nudge to wake her, Izzie looked up a little confused but turned to see Meredith just quickly before she disappeared out of sight again and realized she had probably just saved her ass from Bailey's wrath.

* * *

They looked at the screen where the images were currently loading onto, and looked for anything that could cause the symptoms, and then there it was. 

"Dr. Grey what do you see?" He asked her.

"Tumor on the left parietal lobe." She said relaying what she saw. "And a minor subdural hematoma."

"Yes! It's originated on the blood vessels here." He said using his little finger to point out parts of the image. "…which explains why he's been complaining of headaches and fainting, nothing has been getting through. The bleed is simple enough to fix." He noted something on the chart then looked back at her. "Go book an OR for this evening…you're going to get a surgery." He winked at her, handing the chart to her and leaving with a little jump down the step out of the door.

She made no hesitation in getting to it, and then headed off for lunch. She grabbed some food in the cafeteria, and headed outside to find her fellow interns sitting at a table together. Izzie saw her and smiled, while George animatedly waved her over. Meredith still saw that Cristina was giving her reproachful looks.

"Hey." She greeted them all as she placed her tray down and followed it into a chair.

"Anything good?" Izzie asked her referring to cases.

"Brain tumor…not bad, huh?" She said after she'd taken a bite out of her sandwich, and was happily eating away, the first bit of food since yesterday, having to ditch breakfast completely.

"Nice, I've been charting…A LOT! But then this doctor guy, HOT, came around looking for an intern, so I'm now on plastics." Izzie shared poking at her own lunch in the bowl.

"Tall, blonde, little beard thing…and the aforementioned hotness?" Meredith enquired.

"We're back in high school, aren't we?" George muttered to himself.

"Yeah…" Izzie chose to ignore George's comment, giving him a quick sideways glance then back at Meredith.

"Dr. Sloan. Good luck with that." She said with a slight laugh.

Cristina, who had, up until that point, stayed quiet, then spoke out suddenly and loudly.

"Wait, weren't you with Sloan? How've you got a brain tumor??" She just about demanded at Meredith.

"I was until he was about to make me get coffee…" She started to explain in reply, but was cut off by Izzie complaining.

"Crap!"

"…then I got put on neuro."

"How'd you manage that?" Cristina continued with the questioning, which made Meredith frown, it was a little impolite.

"Dr. Shepherd took me off Sloan, after hearing Sloan trying to get me to go on the coffee run."

"Jeez first day and you've already got the attendings crawling all over you. What did you do? Sleep with one of them?" Cristina said leaning back into her chair again. Izzie and George both whipped their heads round at this comment to face Meredith.

Meredith looked completely shocked and suddenly annoyed.

"NO!!" she shouted back. Izzie and George whipped round for the second time back to Cristina, a little confused now at where her first comment had come from.

"You obviously just threw your name constantly at them then." Cristina spat.

Meredith rose from her seat, gave a long look at Cristina with anger in her eyes, and stormed out of the lunch area. This was precisely why she hated her name that day. She was pissed!

"Why did you do that?!" George half shouted at her.

"Don't you get it?! Grey! Meredith Grey…Ellis Grey. Any bells ringing in there, baby boy?" Cristina continued on ranting.

"What?" George asked confused.

"Oh come on! Where'd you go to med school?? Surely you've heard the name 'Grey'."

"Yes…" George began.

"Well there you go then." Cristina had finished finally. Izzie had sat there quiet the entire time, then looked at George who looked like he'd been beaten up. She got up muttered something about going to find Sloan and left. George didn't hang round long either, before leaving Cristina to stew alone, preferring to be bashed around by Bailey than her.

Meredith had walked so fast, and was so blind with rage that she wasn't seeing people…they were all just blurs. Nurses stared after her and began whispering the moment she was out of earshot. She rounded a corner so fast her face met scrubs in an instantly, falling forward the owner of the scrubs, being caught off guard, going straight down with her.

"Ouch." She mumbled into the top that he face was currently squished into.

"Uh, are you alright there?" The voice came…one she recognized. She cringed…HE FELT IT, and chuckled. _Oh god no! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!!_

She lifted her head, just to confirm her fears and was greeted by, yes, that same pair of blue amused eyes. Things like this had to stop.

"Hi." She said, beginning to lift herself off him, as he got up himself, and helped her up again.

"Hello." He said, watching her step back and forth between feet. "Are you alright?" He asked genuinely.

"I'm…fine." She turned on heel and made a swift exit, but he was right behind her, and then before she knew it she was pulled into an on call room and the door was shut. She walked forward, knowing this was one of those situations there was no escape from and the fact that he was in between her and the door didn't help. She turned back round to face him from the other side of the room. She just looked at him. He was watching her leaning against the door.

"What's wrong?" He asked her simply keeping his eyes trained on hers.

"Nothing…I'm fine." She said moving forward, but he moved in two long quick strides, and sat her down.

"Wait…what…?!"

"I'm not having you in on my surgery like that." He threatened, in the most non threatening way ever, as he sat down next to her.

"Hey that's blackmail!" She turned and glared at him. She was so close to screaming, she was just about trembling.

"I know." He said giving her a small grin. "So talk."

"I'm not Dr. Grey." She said.

"Yes you ar-"

"I'm not! Dr. Grey is this great, famous, perfect surgeon everyone knows. I'm…just an intern."

"You're mother." He understood. Everyone knew her mother, Meredith was right, she was famous, and she was a great surgeon.

"I can't escape it. I thought today would be a nice new start, but people automatically hear my last name and think of her, and then I'm marked down cause I'm getting 'special' treatment or whatever." She admitted finally. Derek just sat and looked at her with a better understanding. "And then I get on the service of two surgeons and people automatically assume that's happening because of my name." She sighed, but still had more to say. "And this probably isn't helping!" She said louder than the rest, pointing her finger at him, which made him move back a little scared he was going to get jabbed.

"This?" he asked warily.

"My attending shoving me in a room and talking to me." She was trying to remove the anger from her voice but was failing; she just felt so out of control of her emotions at that point.

"Okay fine…right in this moment, I'm not your attending." He tried. "It doesn't hurt to talk to a friend."

"A friend? Does potentially running you down make me your friend?" She asked, okay so maybe she was feeling a little better.

"Why not?" He smiled back seeing the small smile that barely graced her face. He stood up again and looked at her. "Talking helps." He said, putting a hand to her shoulder briefly, making her look up at him. She nodded in agreement, and he left the room again.

Meredith collapsed backwards onto the bed and just lay there.

Meredith lay there for 10 minutes, before leaving the room again. She headed down the corridor she had stormed through earlier, ignoring the fact that the same nurses watched her sneakily as she went past. _Let them talk! _She didn't have anything to do at that point, Derek..._Dr. Shepherd_ hadn't told her anything else yet, and the surgery wasn't till later so she headed off to sit somewhere and read up on the impending surgery.

She found a quiet spot down in the tunnels where all the old gurneys and random out of use pieces of furniture had been dumped, and got out a book. She sat alone for a good while before she heard the sound of footsteps approaching and looked up from her book to see Izzie coming down. She smiled weakly and sat down beside her.

"You know Cristina is…" Izzie started. "…is…" Izzie didn't quite know how to describe her. She'd never met anyone like her before in her life.

"Izzie, it's alright." Meredith turned to look at her.

"Right…well there's time." She ended that topic. "How's neuro?"

"Well I haven't done much…surgery later…just reading." Meredith gave her a general answer, there wasn't really much to say. "How about plastics?" She said smirking a little.

"Sloan's an ass…" She said laughing a little. "…but I am getting a surgery, so." She nodded her head to the side weighing the good and bad.

"Seen George?"

"Nope." She said shaking her heading, and then frowning. "I haven't seen him since lunch actually."

"Bailey." They both said in unison. Bailey's reputations preceded her.

"What are you two doing?!" And in true fashion, coincidence occurred. The bold voice of Bailey came from the adjoining corridor, where Bailey was standing in the entrance to.

Meredith opened her mouth, as did Izzie in attempt to answer, but not quickly enough; Bailey got there first.

"I don't care! You can both work in the pit UNTIL you are needed by your attendings, you'll learn nothing sitting here!" They both looked at her for a second, silently and not moving. "GO!!" They stopped staring and scrambled.

Down in the pit, Izzie and Meredith were put onto suturing considering it was the only thing going at that moment, and could see Cristina applying dressings and bandages to a guy's leg further down, but still no George. Meredith and Izzie chatted back and forth as they worked, at one point talking to Cristina who briefly complied before leaving the pit on a Cardio case that had came in.

After running out of patients when the ER got quiet, they moved off to fill in paper work, and it wasn't till then that they finally saw George again.

"Hey where you been?" Izzie looked up at him, and put her pen down.

"I just got back from a surgery!" He excitedly said drawn out as he passed behind both of them, making sure they heard clearly, punching his fist into the air when he came round to sit beside Izzie in a free chair.

"Ooh, with whom?" Meredith asked curiously, putting down her pen also.

"The chief, operating on a kid who fell on a spiked fence…pierced his kidney and spleen." He paused. "Fence was still with him in surgery." He finished looking sideways at them to see them react.

"Ouch." Izzie cringed at the thought and then yawned, while Meredith smiled at him and told him 'good for you'.

"Am I the only one that is tired?" Izzie yawned again while trying to speak.

"I'm too high on surgery to be tired." George answered cheerfully, smiling widely.

"I think I'm high on caffeine…" Meredith gave her response as she picked up her pen again and took up filling in charts once more.

The chief had come past some time after and given George post ops to write up, so he joined the two women in filling things in, a tedious task for all three. Meredith managed to escape not long after that, when Dr. Shepherd came past and told her the surgery had been pushed back till morning. He asked her to go check the patient, which she did, then finding nothing left to do but rest. Taking that opportunity she had left the other two to do so and after was out asleep as soon as her head hit the on call room bed's pillow.

5 hours later and with no interruptions or pages Meredith was still in the on call room, and was just waking up. 3am. Where had the time gone?! Apparently interns weren't missed, either that or it was a quiet night in Seattle. Surgery was at 6am, so she had to get up and find Shepherd and prep the patient.

She wandered and finally found him out in the middle of the hospital at the coffee cart.

"Dr. Shepherd." Meredith greeted him, as he turned round and handed her a coffee, which she took confused. Then assumed she was holding it for him.

"Morning Dr. Grey!" He replied almost too cheerfully at that hour. He looked at her still staring at the coffee, and laughed. "It's coffee, you know, you drink it."

"Oh shut up…" She muttered quietly.

"What was that?" He asked having heard it clear enough, and was laughing even more than before.

"Thanks." Taking a sip of the hot coffee as they walked away from the cart again. "Surgery still scheduled?"

"Yes, so you need to prep the patient, and then we can get to it."

"Okay!" And she was off again, leaving him.

She greeted the patient and prepped him for surgery, all done in good time, and then was in surgery before she knew it…her first surgery. She was allowed to retract sections of the brain while Dr. Shepherd worked on removing the tumor. For her first day retracting anything was a big thing, most surgeons wouldn't trust interns with a pen never mind anything else. So there she was for what felt like forever, but when over not long enough, in the OR. Shepherd had just finished removing the tumor, and making sure everything was fine and in place, and then handed over to the resident neurosurgeon to close up. He looked at Meredith, and nodded towards the scrub room, telling her she was done.

She dumped her surgical gown, gloves and mask in the same bin as previously used by Dr. Shepherd, and entered the scrub room. She went straight to the sink, and ripped open soap to scrub her hands again.

Shepherd looked along to her and could see she was smiling.

"Enjoy the surgery?" He asked her.

"Yeah." She said with a large smile on her face.

"Gets better, you know." He continued. "You've got a lot to look forward to. Internship is hard….but it's worth it." He finished talking and had finished washing his hands. "Take him to the ICU. Leave instructions that when he wakes up he can be moved to a general ward to recover. Good work Dr. Grey." He smiled; throwing the piece of paper he'd been drying his hands with in the bin, and leaving.

Meredith sighed. Long day…days! But surgery was great. Such a good feeling.

She finished scrubbing then followed the doctors pushing the gurney down to ICU, checking a few monitors and noting on the chart, she left the information with the nurse on the ward and headed off to the locker room to sit down and get a bottle of water out of her locker that she had stashed in there the previous morning.

Her pager went off. Emergency case in the PIT. The work just never stopped. She threw her bottle back in the locker, swinging it shut and ran down to the ER area, and found Bailey quickly assessing a patient who had just come in.

Bailey looked up and saw her.

"Good, Grey get over here and hold the gauze in place." She ordered Meredith, who complied instantly.

"Gun shot?" Meredith asked, lifting the material ever so slightly to look then firmly pressing it back down again.

"Mmmhmm." Bailey answered as she was fitting the man with an IV. The monitors he'd just been hooked up to, then started to beep rapidly then fall into the constant sound of arrest.

"He's down!" Bailey shouted.

"Get a crash cart over here!" Meredith turned her upper body to see some nurses behind her scramble for the equipment. They rushed over with it, Meredith taking hold of the paddles, a nurse quickly tapping the gauze in place, while the nurse to her left squirted the gel onto the paddles, before Meredith held them in place, and shouted a loud 'clear' as everyone stood back.

The patient jerked and the heart monitors ran back into the rhythm of life.

"He needs to be surgery NOW!" Bailey ordered again, as those working around them set the wheels moving and headed towards an OR.

4 hours later, after one bullet removal and several frustrating times of thinking they were finished to find that it was entirely the opposite, Bailey and Meredith left the OR.

_When things change, we go back to the beginning for a reason._

Meredith was currently thanking her lucky stars. Two surgeries in a day! She smiled to herself as she washed again and then sighed contently.

_Starting at the top is not an option of life._

"Go home Grey. Tomorrow is another day." Bailey said to her before she left, suddenly seeming a lot more human.

So off to the locker room she went. When she got there she found it empty and so got to getting cleaned up and changed again back into clothes, clean, considering it had felt like she'd lived in that t shirt and scrubs combo for days! She sat down on the bench in front of her locker just for a second, just to sit quietly.

_ If we took off at the top who's saying what would happen._

At that moment Cristina burst in through the door, and then stopped when she saw Meredith sitting on the bench. Meredith looked up at her, expectantly as if waiting for something to be directed at her. Cristina stood just a little longer as if an internal battle going on inside, and then finally spoke out.

"About earlier…" She started then hesitated not quite sure how to progress.

"It's alright." Meredith simply answered her as Cristina took a seat beside her.

"Cardio is mine." She stated which caused Meredith to give her a sideways look, being so random to what had just been said before it.

_We wouldn't cope, __be__caus__e we wouldn't know how to. _

"Okay." Meredith answered with a small laugh. "See you in the next shift." Meredith stood up, lifting her bag out of her locker and closing it. When she got to the door, Izzie and George entered greeting very quickly as they passed and on realizing she was off, then said their goodbyes and she left the hospital.

* * *

Sitting on a bar stool Meredith sipped at her glass of iced water. As much as she would normally drink while in a bar, it was still early and that didn't look good. Plus she was a doctor; she was supposed to know good health and responsibility…most of the time. She had chatted to the bar owner a good bit when she first arrived, but then he had gone off to clean tables and collect a few strewn glasses, and was back to sitting alone again, till the seat beside her had been filled. The other guy who helped on the bar came across to serve the seats' new occupant. 

"What can I get you?" The bar guy asked.

"Double scotch. Single malt." The answer came from an all too familiar voice of the past 2 days.

Without even looking Meredith entered into conversation, still playing with the small straw in her glass.

"Don't you think it's a bit early to be drinking scotch, Dr. Shepherd?" She asked.

_S__ometimes that new start can be the best thing that happens to you_

**Remember to review...good or bad.**_  
_


	2. The Learning Curve

_In school, you did as you were __told. Teachers__ ruled the lives of students while in those four walls._

"HEY! Get your lazy ass selves ready!!" Bailey commanded, having walked into the locker room to find majority of the interns getting ready and filing out of the room, and then seeing the sight that was Meredith and George sitting up side by side sleeping, their shoulders brushing together with every breath.

As Bailey shouted at them, she simultaneously hit both of their heads with a notepad she was holding as she passed them by.

They both jerked awake instantly, George complaining while Meredith gradually opened her eyes, then shouted out with shock. Both of them had been there first, and had been sitting quietly while they waited. She hadn't expected to fall asleep, and then to wake to find that the room was full of the other interns and their resident. _Whoops._

"George pit, as quickly as possible."

"Yes Ma'am!" George began running around frantically throwing clothes off and throwing scrubs on, then continuing to run out the door just as fast, nearly knocking down Derek who was passing the door at the time.

Meredith laughed quietly to herself. Derek looked through the door and gave a quick wave, which Meredith smiled to in reply; Bailey caught this and shouted her name, then followed her eye line to the door, which thankfully as Meredith saw was now clear.

"Stop daydreaming, Grey, and get changed!" Bailey ordered her again.

_A job works exactly the same way. __Having someone there to teach you is there__ for a reason. They guide. They instruct.__ They help you to grow. _

As soon as George had reached the pit he saw that it was quite full, other interns already down there assessing as they went. He joined them, seeing to a few minor injuries before being called over to see a patient on a stretcher who wasn't breathing. He called for an intubation kit then got out his handbook, flicking quickly through the pages.

_They keep themselves unattached, so that they can work and concentration solely on the work. But what if this fails?_

Back up in the locker room, Meredith was changed and standing with Izzie and Cristina as Bailey was checking something off of her notepad.

Mark Sloan turned up at the door at that point.

"Dr. Bailey." He said her name as he leaned against the door frame, and just enough forward as to get his head in the room.

Bailey turned to him and rolled her eyes are she spun back round to her interns, who were standing at that point, giving each other looks, wondering why they were still waiting after she'd been shouting at them to get ready.

"Stevens. Dr. Sloan has requested you to work on his service today." She said to the tall blonde who now had a blank look on her face.

Izzie looked to Meredith, who looked back and shrugged at her. She chose to ignore the fact that she could see the small grin playing on Cristina's face which she was doing a bad job at hiding. The question was, was she trying to hide it at all? Probably not.

She resigned to the fact then headed off to the door. He sidestepped out the way for her to pass through and then they walked off together to do whatever he had planned for her.

Bailey beckoned to Cristina and Meredith to follow her and began to walk out the door and down the corridor. When they arrived at a nurses' station, she stopped, requesting something from a nurse then spoke out to Cristina without turning around.

"Yang, go find Shepherd, you're with him today."

"I…" Cristina started to answer back.

"SHEP-HERD-GO-NOW." She said her sentence very slowly, separating each syllable to make her point.

And then Cristina was gone, if anyone could control, it was Bailey.

She set off again, fast paced, marching along, with Meredith following on heel. She was silent as she went, not giving any orders, which Meredith found very strange. In fact she was wondering whether she had remembered that she was still following her around.

Right as she was thinking this Bailey took a sharp left into a patient room, Meredith just getting herself through the door, having been so close behind the small woman, she had nearly missed the turn.

"Miranda!!" A young woman cheered from her bed, as the man who had been sitting at her side stood up and strode toward Bailey and engulfed her in his arms, repeating her name as previously done by the patient. Obviously they must have been friends.

Meredith stood right at the back, looking a little uncomfortable with the situation.

Bailey moved round to the end of the bed, as the man went and sat back beside the woman.

"Grey!" She barked from where she was, sliding the chart out of its holder and handing it sideways to her.

Meredith opened it and began reading as Bailey quickly talked to the patient, starting off medical, but then slipping ever so slightly personal, as the young woman joked to Bailey. Meredith listened to the medical parts hearing from the patient herself about feeling so bloated with pregnancy and the such, then looked up once she'd got the gist of it.

"Marie Lloyd, 38…and her husband, Tony." Bailey gestured towards the man, who smiled, while Meredith returned it and nodded. Bailey continued. "She's been suffering from abdominal pain for the last week." Bailey started announcing her stats.

"You're 28 weeks pregnant?" Meredith asked the woman, who nodded back at her rubbing a hand over her enlarged stomach. Meredith then turned to Bailey. "I take it you believe there's something else."

"That's correct. It could be that the pressure in her abdomen from the baby is putting strain on the other surrounding organs." Meredith nodded along. "That's why I'd like you to get an MRI and an OB consult. Why?" She tested her.

"MRI to see what's causing the problems. OB consult to see whether it's caused by the pregnancy or just by coincidence and what can be done." Meredith answered the question, looking back towards the patient and smiling, who returned the favor.

"Good." Bailey said, taking the chart back off her and sliding it into its slot. "I expect you to give the best care you can." She continued now moving towards the door.

"Of course, Dr. Bailey." Meredith respectfully answered her superior.

"Find me, when you know something." She finished, stopping in the doorway as her pager beeped. She looked at it for a second, then left, Meredith guessed to go answer it.

Meredith informed the woman that she'd go off and try to book an MRI for as soon as possible, but warned her that there might still be quite a wait considering she wasn't in a critical state. She told she'd be back after that to take her there, and she'd have an Obstetrician down to see her once they got the films.

The woman thanked her and then she left.

She headed off to MRI, and found the tech guy sitting currently working with Derek and Cristina. All three looked up to her sudden appearance at the doorway thinking that maybe someone had come to inform them of something important.

Upon seeing her Cristina knew that was not the case, and the tech guy looked back to the computer while Derek greeted her.

"Hi."

"Dr. Shepherd." She replied, walking round them to the other side and checking the timetable that was up.

Cristina rolled her eyes to herself and looked back at the screen.

"Whoah."

Meredith turned around from writing down the patient name and her own initials in a time slot, and looked through the gap between Derek and Cristina. She then looked up to see the patient in the machine.

"He's still alive?" Meredith asked, forgetting she wasn't on the case, but the interest taking over.

"He is." Derek said quite shocked himself upon seeing what he could see.

"How is that even possible?" Cristina asked. The three of them, and even the tech guy were sitting there partly gawping at the screen.

What they were looking at was the picture of the man's spine crushed around and into his spinal cord.

"There's bone fragments embedded all the way up…removal would kill him…or paralyze him." Meredith continued to give her opinion.

The attending and intern turned their heads to look at her, at which point she remembered exactly why she was there in the first place. Not for that man, that was for sure.

"Err. Well I should get going now. Bye." She spoke very quickly and left as fast as she could, not sticking around long enough to see the confused looked on Derek's face as he had asked Cristina what that was about as she ignored him. Meredith continued to power walk along the corridor, heading off to the coffee cart.

Clarity in a cup. That's what she needed right now. She'd already missed the chance earlier to get a cup in before being hauled out onto the job, so with the time she had to spare that's what she was off to get.

Once she had a cup in hand and the smell of a double shot of coffee wafted up her nose, she looked up to the walkway above, and decided it was time to make it up there, and look out upon the city. All of 5 seconds peace and it was interrupted again.

"Hey!" came the calling voice of Izzie as she stepped up beside her, and leaned on the rail. "Oh wow. How amazing is that view?" She asked stunned by what she was seeing.

Meredith nodded and made a humming noise of agreement, but didn't say anything. She could see storm clouds far off in the distance, and guessed it would be raining soon.

"What's Sloan got you doing today then?" Meredith asked curiously turning to Izzie briefly then back to the window.

"Well, after I went got him his 'special'…" Meredith had to laugh, because Izzie made quotation marks in the air, rolling her eyes back into her head, being very dramatic. "…coffee, I found him again and he gave me this." She head up a ticket. Meredith frowned and took the ticket out of her grasp and looked closer.

"Dry cleaning?!" Meredith exclaimed loudly holding the ticket away from her again as if it were diseased.

"Exactly." Izzie sighed and leaned back on the rail again. "I think I'm writing his post-ops for the last 20 million surgeries he's done too…later on."

"Oh hey there's Bailey… I'll see you at lunch! If you're free that is." Meredith stuck her tongue out at her, and quickly jumped into action after seeing her mentor, and bid Izzie goodbye.

"Okay. See you!" Izzie called at her. Standing there, where she was, for a second longer she wondered what she could possibly get up to which would be more fun than collecting clothes and that would act as a good excuse against Sloan. Finding nothing instantly springing to mind, she gave up and headed off.

"Dr. Bailey." Meredith called once while running towards her. "DR. BAILEY!! This time Bailey turned around and Meredith skidded to a stop.

"Yes?"

"Er, Mrs. Lloyd is booked for an MRI at 10."

"Okay, you go inform her of that. Remember manners." Meredith Nodded along. She was being reminded of manners, what kind of person did Bailey think she was? "Have you scheduled the consult yet?" Bailey asked her, signaling for her to walk with her.

"I was just about to." Meredith answered.

"Good. Go find Dr. Montgomery and give her a copy of the patients' notes."

"I'm on it!" Meredith cheerily confirmed as she then fell out of the walk she had joined Bailey in and headed back to the patient room.

She popped in quickly, asked Marie if she needed anything, the patient not requesting anything in return, and then told her she had a few hours to wait but that she'd be back to pick her up and take her down.

Meredith then removed the chart, and took it with her to a nurse's station, requesting the nurse that was sitting at the desk to go copy the patient information as quickly as possible. At the 'quickly as possible' part the nurse slinked away scowling a little. Meredith decided to ignore it, assuming it was just a bad day. "Thank you!" She shouted after the nurse who muttered a 'no problem' back as she left.

There she waited at the nurses' station, scanning the people passing by while waiting…then she realized something.

"Who's Dr. Montgomery?" She asked herself out loud, looking around. Any of those passing doctors could be her.

"Here you go Dr. Grey." Meredith turned round to see the nurse had returned thanked her again and took the papers and chart. She decided the best bet was to check the OR board, all surgeries, to happen, or currently happening, that could fit on the board at the time were there, and considering surgeons were very busy people, it was probably the easiest way for her to find the doctor.

When she got to it she found that someone was editing what was up with a marker so she stood back and waited. After they left she scanned the board.

_General.__General.__ Bailey.__ Plastics with __Sloan__ just started__…__oooh__ I wonder if __Izzie's__ in there. __Neuro__…Shepherd…wonder how that's going. Montgomery!! __Finally._

There was an open gallery too, so she hopped off up the stairs and into the observation area. Finding a seat in the front row and began watching the surgery. She had enough time; the surgery was scheduled, according to the board, to be finished long enough before the MRI slot, so this was her opportunity to just enjoy watching a surgery.

As always the gallery was full of other surgeons, and random doctors that had visited out of curiosity from other fields; there was an attending standing in the far corner, and then two interns sitting front row with a bag of M&Ms between them, a couple of residents, and some others with lab coats.

The in and out flow of spectators wasn't something that usually grabbed anyone's attention as it was a usual thing and plus the surgery was way cooler, unless of course there was some great disturbance caused in which everyone would be listening for anything of gossip which could be spread around the hospital.

That was one thing the interns had learnt fast about; the Nurses and their gossip. Who needed a magazine to find something juicy, when there was always something good going on in and around the corridors of Seattle Grace? They had their ways, in fact there was probably one lurking their right now, in the back, waiting for something to happen in the OR.

Meredith had had a head start in this case, she'd known from her mother all those years back, of course her mother hadn't approved, but it was something that was common and so it came up once in a while in her mother's preaching's of hospital greatness.

She watched the surgery until the end, carefully following every cut, every command and action following it. The surgeon was extremely calm and collected and moved very fluidly, even in a tight spot. That was something every aspiring surgeon wanted to achieve.

Before she knew it, the surgeon stepped away, signaling to what she guessed at an intern up there with her, and correctly so as then an intern passed her on the way out. Meredith thought best to follow the intern to Dr. Montgomery.

The intern disappeared into the scrub room, and Meredith stopped at that, waiting for the doctor to emerge. She didn't wait long; apparently Dr. Montgomery was rushing because she nearly walked into Meredith as she exited the scrub room.

Both apologized then just as she was about to rush off again, Meredith shouted out to her.

"Excuse me! Dr. Montgomery?!" As she began to walk after her slightly. Dr. Montgomery stopped and turned curiously, as she knew that wasn't the voice of her own intern.

"Yes?" She asked quickly, then looked at her watch. Meredith thought it was a little rude, but guessed by the quickness of her pace she was actually busy.

"Er, Dr. Bailey asked me to get you onboard for a consult on her patient…" Meredith started explaining, then noticed that Dr. Montgomery was starting to move again, only walking backwards very slowly this time as she was trying to get going.

"Okay, get me…"

"I have a copy of the patient information here." Meredith waved the pieces of paper around in the air, while taking steps forward herself, to stay within a decent distance of the rushing doctor.

"You're persistent, aren't you?" The doctor stopped again and extended her hand to collect the papers that Meredith was now holding out to her. "Tell Dr. Bailey I'll be around as soon as I'm finished on this case." She had given the front sheet of paper a quick look over and was now walking again.

"Okay." Meredith said more to her than to anyone else as Dr. Montgomery had now walked out of earshot and no one else in the surrounding area wanted to know, or even cared what a wandering intern was up to.

Meredith headed off again. Leaving informing Bailey till the time she'd see her outside MRI, she decided to check out another gallery. Back at the board again she scanned, all were pretty much the same, except for the empty slot now that had once been taken by Dr. Montgomery.

She first poked her head in at Izzie, to find that she was standing at the back of all the rows of doctors that were watching in the OR. Izzie happened to look up at that point, sensing the feeling of being watched and saw Meredith. Meredith smiled down at her, and received what looked like a look that said death would meet Mark Sloan soon.

She wandered back out of that gallery and to another on the other side of the floor climbing the stairs and sliding quickly into the last remaining chair. Had it been empty she would have stood for a bit, judging first whether to stay or not, but considering the lack of space she grabbed a seat immediately. Apparently Neurosurgery was a lot more popular than Plastics.

Cristina was assisting, holding instruments into the open section being operated on, retracting and answering questions while Derek had control over the main surgical tools. It was tense, she knew herself as she'd seen the films. Once again Meredith watched that long that Cristina looked up, quicker than Izzie had, but obviously catching the view of Meredith sitting there, refusing to waste time in acknowledging.

Meredith had never met anyone like Cristina before. Sure she'd had her run ins with those in college who worked hard and constantly, she'd had been one; the course demanded it, of course that was when she wasn't drinking, or doing something else, but she'd never met one that wouldn't even give people a chance in a first glance or that would knock others down to gain. She was seriously hardcore…ABOVE hardcore.

She then saw a nearby nurse step away and head for the door; at that moment she saw Cristina's eyes go from Derek to follow the exiting nurse. It was then that Derek looked up, and simply locked eye contact with her for a second. She had to admit, they were most improbable team of attending and intern ever; a happy surgeon and a riled up intern. Meredith had bet their morning had been interesting.

The nurse had returned and the surgery continued, whatever had been a problem must have been ironed out. Meredith hadn't stayed long after that, checking the clock to find that it was quarter to 10, so she left to go back to the patient room. When she arrived there she found that Bailey was already present, sitting on the bed in fact, apparently catching up with the life of her friend. As soon as she saw Meredith enter she got up, boss Bailey back in action in an instant to rule over her interns, and majority of the hospital. At first she just looked at her for a second then Meredith informed her about Dr. Montgomery calling by later.

"Okay. Good." Bailey left for a second and returned with a wheel chair. Mrs. Lloyd got into it just fine and Meredith pushed her down to MRI as she and Bailey had continued to chat in the motion.

The MRI went smoothly, everything looked reasonably normal, but there was a slight shift from where an average baby should lie, the thing that confused the doctors was the fact that it wouldn't cause that much of a problem. Bailey told Meredith to make herself busy, as Bailey then wheeled her friend back to her room. Apparently nothing could be done till after the OB consult, so Meredith headed off to the pit to find George.

When she arrived she actually found George and Izzie sitting with patients suturing.

"Hey!" Meredith greeted them quite cheerily. George's pager went off and he stood, shot Izzie a look and started muttering while walking past Meredith as if she hadn't been there at all..

"Hi." Izzie replied. Meredith took his place after Izzie had nodded towards George's abandoned patient, and stated pulling on a pair of gloves and then went on to give her a weird look from George's strange actions. "He's had a rough morning." Meredith simply nodded.

"And you?" She asked Izzie getting to work.

"Sloan said I got good coffee." She nodded smiling proudly for a second then rolling her eyes slowly to demonstrate the extent of her sarcasm. Meredith suppressed a laugh, replacing it with a sympathetic look. "His case was boring too; it's as if he was purposefully torturing me this morning."

"Try to get on another service." Meredith said to her looking at the line of stitches she was making as she precisely placed each one. When Izzie didn't answer she looked up. Izzie then gestured animatedly at the fact that she was in the pit and doing sutures. Meredith gave a small laugh. "I see."

"Aren't you with Bailey? Why are you down here?" Izzie then asked her curious as to why she was tediously suturing too.

"Yeah, still with Bailey. There's nothing to do until we get an OB consult." Meredith started talking again as she was finishing up on the patient applying the dressings over the top. "I've handed over the information, but heard nothing back…so…just gotta wait." She said with a final rub down of the bandage to smooth out the bumps.

"There you go." Meredith turned to speak to the patient. "I'll get a nurse over to sort you with something to manage the pain and then you can go." She said with a smile clearing up the drapes and instruments. After she had disposed of everything and informed a nurse she walked back over to Izzie who was also finishing up.

"Lunch?" She asked, looking around the pit and seeing a bunch of interns already loitering around waiting for something to do.

"Sure." Meredith replied.

Ten minutes later after popping into the locker room briefly, they entered the cafeteria, to find it partially full of interns and residents and the few attending that were free, and then amongst them other hospital staff and visitors. They got in line for the counter, grabbing a sandwich along the way, and pressing coffee on the coffee machine, and moving along to pay. Once done they collapsed at the nearest table by a window. Izzie was sitting holding her head up with her handed propped under her chin, staring straight ahead with lazy eyes that were probably not taking in the slightest bit detail that they were looking at and Meredith currently had her head on the table, both hands clasping the coffee in front of her.

"Are you tired?" Izzie asked not moving from her staring.

"No."

"Then why is your head on the table." Izzie asked this time shifting her eyes down to her friend.

"Cause I can't be assed to hold it up." Meredith answered her head bobbing a little bit as she spoke.

"Oh." Izzie then took a sip of her coffee and sat quietly again.

Silence filled the air for a bit between them, until a shriek shocked them and the whole entire room from their food or drinks. The contents of the room collectively turned to the source of the noise to find George standing there looking a little too close to delusional as he looked towards Meredith and Izzie's table. He started moving towards them.

"IZZIE!!!!!!" He shouted again. The rest of the cafeteria chose to go back to their own business apparently not finding anything of interest out of George's breakdown. "MEREDITH!!!!!!" He shouted again, coming to hug Izzie, and then round to Meredith, before throwing himself down into the chair next to Meredith with a reasonable force.

Both women looked at each other then along sideways at George with confused looks.

"George?" Izzie questioned, as she watched him slam his head into the table and then immediately lifting it up again to answer to his name.

"Yeah?" He asked, now with a dazed look across his face.

"What's wrong with you?" Meredith asked him, looking at Izzie again, who raised her eyebrows and shook her head ever so slightly to show she had no clue why he was acting so strangely.

"This day….this day sucks." He started explain sadly. "In one morning, I've been stuck with all random trauma cases, been avoided for 3 emergency surgeries, rejected for 4 cases and had a whole bunch of deaths if it wasn't any of the first 3 happening. Like I say; it sucks."

"Ah…" Was all that either of them could come up with. Silence filled the space again, as both thought of anything to say that would make him feel better but despite even Izzie's situation with Sloan, it wasn't anything as bad as what George had described.

"Want to go for a drink at the end of the shift?" Meredith offered. Alcohol was a good idea, especially if George was feeling like crap…at least it worked for so long.

"Drinking. Good." That was all George managed to say in return, which was enough anyway, confirming some plans.

Meredith's pager went off at that point, which she looked down to unclip it off her pants and check.

"I have to go…the consult is finally happening!" She said informing the other two that she'd be leaving. "I'll see you later." Then she left.

About five minutes later George's pager went off again, causing him to complain and then leave again, leaving Izzie to sit alone, hoping that she wouldn't bump into Sloan again.

Meredith made it back into the room, moving quietly to the back again, as Dr. Montgomery was checking out the patient and cross referencing with the scans from earlier. Meredith stood there while Bailey stood to the right of her friend and Dr. Montgomery worked. Dr. Montgomery then stood for a few minutes noting down into a chart before looking at Dr. Bailey, and then to the patient.

"Okay, so the baby has moved. It's not critical, but the move was a little too much I think, for what I'd like at this stage and I can correct the baby's position with a quick operation." She said, speaking between Dr. Bailey and the patient and her husband. Then she stopped again, and it seemed as those she was composing herself for some serious thinking, which usually happened when doctors didn't quite know how to say something in a way that wouldn't freak out the patient. "However…" And there it was that the mood of the room changed, and Meredith watched this carefully. These were the kinds of situations that new doctors could learn from for the future. "…however, this wouldn't explain why you're in pain." She said this to the patient. "From this kind of shift it would be like everyday movement, nothing out of the ordinary. Was there nothing else on the MRI?" Dr. Montgomery asked Dr. Bailey.

Dr. Bailey then looked down at the chart on which the observations had been written.

"Nothing that I could see." She said looking a little confused and unsure of herself.

"Dr. Bailey?" Dr. Montgomery asked questioningly, and with a look that told her to get serious and figure it out that instant.

Meredith looked on. Once again it looked like she had been forgotten about, yet there she was watching this whole scene unfold in front of her. Had Bailey got it wrong? And what would that mean?

"No. There wasn't anything else visible." It seemed like she was still skipping around the question, she wasn't sure but as far as her memory served her she couldn't collect seeing anything out of the ordinary. Nothing that was particularly obvious anyhow.

"Okay then, well I'd like to get this sorted out today. I have a surgery in half an hour, it's only short so can we schedule this for about an hour after I finish up with that." And that was finally when Meredith was noticed again. "Dr…?"

"Grey." Meredith answered quickly.

"Right Dr. Grey, get to the OR board and get it scheduled." She ordered.

"Right away." And Meredith was off again. Truth be told, she preferred to be on the move, bar the exception of surgery. Standing around and waiting, even in a normal situation, could be hell.

She got to the board informed on of the nurses of the schedule addition, who then went off to add it to the board, it was then she saw Cristina. And waved at her, as she came over. She didn't look happy.

"What's up?" Meredith asked sympathetically.

"Surgery's not as straight forward as we thought… I mean, it wasn't really straight forward in the first place, but it was doable, now it just got a little more complicated." Cristina rattled off, half to herself, but still to Meredith.

"Okay…" Meredith realized that Cristina hadn't really revealed much but it was obvious that it was affecting her, even if Cristina didn't like the fact. It was happening. As Meredith thought this it seemed like it dawned on Cristina that she was showing some sort of weakness in front of her competition and quickly strolled off, sending a quick 'bye' to Meredith as she left.

Meredith couldn't help but stare after her worried. It was then that her attention was caught again, this time by the voices of Dr. Bailey and Dr. Montgomery and they didn't seem too friendly. Meredith slowly slid her way around the edge of the desk and sat herself down in the empty chair in front of the computer. From that position she could follow just about everything going on in the close area, which is why, she guessed, the Nurse's knew everything. In fact, looking to her left, she noticed that the nurse who had been typing away on the computer had now stopped and was looking over the top of it sneakily.

"Dr. Bailey… expect you to know…you know how this works…don't let it happen again." Dr. Montgomery was lecturing as she walked and Bailey had regained her composure and looked like she was about to kill, taking the chance of silence from Montgomery's end to storm off in the opposite direction. She hadn't heard all but what she had didn't sound all too positive.

Meredith and the Nurse looked at each other for a second, then realized neither was supposed to have been listening and quickly pretended to go back to whatever it was they were doing. _What am I supposed to be doing? _She thought to herself as she sat there.

She decided to wander off and standing on the bridge for a bit just relaxing and taking in the workings of the hospital. She was wrapped up in her own thoughts, seemingly blocking everything else around her out, up until…

"Hi." Came a voice from beside her.

She turned and looked to see Derek standing there, not really as cheerful as she usually saw, which made her instantly stop the fact that she was going to roll her eyes at him for turning up randomly again.

"Er…hi, Dr. Shepherd." She replied unsure. He stood there quietly looking out over the hospital as she previously had been, not saying anymore, not even looking across to get her attention or anything.

She looked at him, opened her mouth to say something, closed it again, then turned back to the view frowning. Silence followed.

"Are you okay?" She finally asked.

"Erm…" He wondered to himself before sighing. "I think this is going to be a long day." That was all he gave.

"Yeah, I think I know what you mean." Sure her day probably wasn't going to be as stressful as his but it was taking forever, and her two bosses were currently slowly stabbing each other in the face every time they saw each other, and one of her friends was insane, while the other was insanely happy…well most of the time, then there was Cristina…and that was just. Weird.

His pager went off, leaving him a little frustrated at the lack of a break from his day.

"I have to go." He said to her starting to leave.

"Hey!" She shouted causing him to turn, still fiddling with his pager. "A few of us are going over to the bar at the end of the shift, you're welcome to join." She offered.

He thought about it for a moment, then answered.

"Sure. Thanks." He told her. "See you later." And he was off again, and Meredith at that moment decided to switch sides opting to face out over the city; still bustling with people under an afternoon sun.

* * *

Meredith walked into the scrub to find Dr. Bailey there washing. She turned as she heard the door open and looked at her. 

"Everything alright." Bailey asked her.

"Yep, everything's good." Meredith answered her, staying put waiting for some sort of order.

"Right," And there it was. "I want you to be in that surgery. Go scrub in, and stand there and watch, very carefully. You answer to me. Anything happens, come find me and give me an update. I'll be along to scrub in myself after I'm done here." She said this shaking the water off and backing away from Meredith now towards the door. "Tell Dr. Montgomery that." She said ending that with a harsh, to the point, tone.

"Okay…" Meredith answered her, wondering what kind of thing she was in the middle of. She headed off to the other OR and began scrubbing in.

As soon as she was done she moved in through the doors, and was greeted by a team of people to dry her and suit her up with a gown and gloves to join around the operating table. Meredith hesitated and held back till Dr. Montgomery told her to move around beside her to hold something.

"Dr. Bailey wanted me to tell you that she'll be along as soon as she has finished up." Meredith informed her not being able to finish before being cut off by a quick 'okay'.

This didn't go unnoticed by those around the table and in the room. Chances were if there was a gallery in that OR, people watching would have been whispering. An attitude like that was obvious and even more so after the loud discussion earlier which had spread like wild fire.

Meredith stood, answered questions, all she did was observe, and observe closely she did. It felt like she had been standing there forever, but Bailey eventually turned up and just in time for her part to come into play.

Just as she arrived in the scrub room, the monitor beginning beeping, faster and faster, alerting everyone. Dr. Montgomery began barking orders to those around and to Meredith to take hold of something while she moved around.

_You get attached, or distracted…_

Bailey scrubbed fast at her hands, before rushing out into the OR and meeting a nurse who geared her up quickly, allowing her to step in helping to stabilize the patient.

"She's bleeding." Bailey said loudly. "Suction!!" She shouted, as a nurse stepped up closer to poke the suction tools into the body cavity.

"Grey, hold that still." Dr. Montgomery shouted at Meredith who snapped back to what she was doing. "I want you to move your hands underneath the baby and hold him carefully…" Meredith slipped her hands under the baby's body and supported as she felt Dr. Montgomery move away from the other side and move up beside Bailey. "…we need to find the source of the bleeding NOW!" She commanded, but nobody needed telling twice.

"I…can't…find…it!" Bailey said out loud. "There's too much blood."

_ You can hurt the people around you. You can hurt yourself._

"Find it." Dr. Montgomery began digging too, while more suction came in to clear their field of vision. A second monitor began to increase in the rate of its beeps, alerting the obstetric staff monitoring the baby.

"Baby is going into distress!" Someone shouted from behind them.

"I've found the source of the bleeding. It's from the top of the placenta." Bailey looked up and looked scared. Not because she was lost as what to do next, but because it was all spiraling out of control and it was her friend that was the victim.

"We need that baby out now. Grey, clamp the cord and get the baby out." She said quickly to Meredith, then going back to work with Bailey trying to stop the bleeding.

"NICU's been notified." Someone else called from beside a wall phone.

Meredith needed no more, there was no hesitation. It was life and death right there and then. She clamped the cord and a surgical nurse leaned in and cut the cord; Meredith immediately rushing away to a prepped incubation unit to clear the baby's airways.

Meredith heard the cold chill sound of a flat line behind her, pausing for a second as it hit her, then snapping back again hearing the cries of the tiny baby. She looked back across at the table and saw Bailey staring at the body of her friend and then Dr. Montgomery nodding her head towards the door, signaling for her to stay with the baby. Meredith replied with a simple nod also and left.

_That's why there's a learning curve. It takes time. Until one day, we realize and accept everything we know._

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_First of all... Merry Christmas!! And Happy Holidays to all! Sorry for the wait, but my life is CRAZY and I have little time for writing, and when I do have time for writing I want to sleep to recover from the rest of it, but I'm trying!! This chapter was short in terms of story movement, but the end came a little sooner than I expected and anyway the next chapter follows straight on the tail of this one, and will include a little out of hospital time. :D Hope you guys continue to read. _

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